I recently listened to two excellent podcasts, one by Brown Rudnick partner, Jane Colston, in discussion with Sally Ann Jones of Riva-Jones Ltd and the other a TED talk by Dr Brené Brown. They gave some very useful pointers for how to be a happier, balanced person and, in a business context, more successful.
Dr Brown identified that most of us feel very vulnerable and that vulnerability can make us hesitant as well as resistant to changing our behaviour. We are concerned because reaching out to others, be it in a work or general social context, means we reveal something of ourselves. Her message was that, for many of us counter-intuitively, there is power in vulnerability and that reaching out to others will bring you greater happiness and success in life:
- You need to accept who you are, believe you are enough and be kind to yourself as well as to others.
- You then need to be courageous, accepting that, when you reach out to others, things may not necessarily turn out as you hope. You have to be prepared to fail.
- Connecting with others makes you stronger. It gives you a sense of worthiness and belonging. It makes you creative and creativity breeds opportunity.
These points tied in with the discussion Jane Colston and Sally Ann Jones were having about how being “resilient” helps make you successful. They identified the following as key to being resilient:
- Be calm.
- Develop a personal strategy. Assess yourself in all the following areas and decide where your strengths lie and if there are areas in which you could improve.
- Being positive means you see opportunities.
- Confidence in your abilities.
- Prioritisation.
- Creativity.
- Connecting with others. Don’t try and do things on your own. Don’t forget to listen to others.
- Structure. Do you have a disciplined approach?
- Experimentation. Try out different strategies and behaviours. Don’t stay in your comfort zone!
- The ability to problem solve.
- Manage your energy.
I am not downplaying the fact that sometimes someone is just in the right place at the right time. However, if you are resilient and therefore prepared to be vulnerable, then you are likely to be in the right place to start with. If you are relaxed and open then you can perceive opportunities rather than only see what you are looking for. If you have thought about your personal strategy then your communication with others will be authentic and therefore more effective.
Positive expectation becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I will leave you with some of Sally Ann Jones’ exercises designed to make you more resilient:
- Take time each day to find something for which to be thankful.
- Spend a few minutes each day drawing or writing something just for yourself.
- Take an action to build a new relationship or strengthen an existing one.
- Try doing something new or unfamiliar.
- At the end of the day, identify something you have learnt.
- Spend some time organising or planning something.
- First thing, identify the most important priorities for the day.
You don’t have to do these exercises every day but I guarantee you will feel better and be more successful if you do!